16 May 2006

Happy Days are Here Again!

It is the day: the day we leave for vacation. Sigh......it seems too good to be true. I am leaving this desk now and will not return until the 30th of the month. Glory in it--the freedom!!!
I think Husband and I have already mentally been on vacation for several days. We've been staying up late, goofing off, eating junk food, spending money.
Last night I found the most comfortable, glorious sandals EVER at Marshall Fields on sale (though they weren't cheap, mind you....haven't spent this much on a pair of shoes since I was in basketball) that were made all of natural materials, were sexy, and still felt great. Victory!
The last trip I went on was to Paris last spring. That was the trip of a lifetime. I think this trip will in it's own way, also be the trip of a lifetime. For one thing, Husband is going with me, so I won't feel too badly if I die in a plane crash. Except for all of our debt. And what would happen with it? That makes me feel badly to think about. So, the plane can't crash. And I think the whole tropical experience is going to be amazing--I've never really been anywhere tropical unless you could Galveston, TX.
In Galveston, we experienced Mardi Gras, sea food, beached jellyfish, and the sheer thrill of almost stepping barefoot onto a hypodermic needle. Other than the needle, I loved it.
I would write more, but frankly, I am too excited to sit still or think straight.

12 May 2006

Bad Dreams; Bad Dogs

I had a string of bad dreams two nights ago that I just can't shake. Even now, I still feel like I just woke up from the dreams--it is all very vivid in my mind--and I feel sort of stuck between the dream and reality.
So the string of dreams took place at the abortion clinic. And I was forcibly made to watch, over and over, abortions being performed. They also had a wing for assisted suicide at this clinic, and I was forced to watch some of those as well. And I could remember what the people were saying as they died, and how some of them actually were fighting it--almost like they realized too late at the last second that they didn't want to go through with it. And I can remember the smells and the lighting and the decor of the place. And then, after this, one of the employees was taking me around and showing me, "But we do GOOD work here" and was showing me some hospice patients and other types of invalids that they were "taking care" of. And then it went back to the abortions and assisted suicides.
It was the most horrible, horrifying, awful dream I have ever had. I don't really know exactly where the dream came from, but I am still shaken up about it. I am vehemently pro-life in all circumstances. But what struck me about this dream was how this place just had such a vagrant disregard--almost an arrogance toward--life. It was so perverted and evil and dark......
I don't know. Maybe this is God's way of drawing me back into the pro-life movement, though I don't know what that would look like. I'm not the protesting type anymore--at least not at this point. But I am the educating type.
On a lighter note, Sara's dog, Max has eaten the following: an entire bag of mini-marshmallows and a bag of ramen noodles (sans seasoning packet). Nice. Nice, Max. Those two things don't even remotely go together. At least if you're gonna eat the mini-marshmallows, eat something civilized with it, you brute. Eat some chocolate and graham crackers, for crying out loud. But Ramen??
Anyway, at least it is good to know that it is not just my dogs that are completely ridiculous.
Billy should be done completing the new path and shade garden on the north side of our house today. I think it looks pretty cool. And when all the plants fill in, it will look even better. I got some lupines and some other types of shade plants to put in around things. There are already some columbines around the area and peonies, so it is just a matter of giving things time to fill in.
We are trying to figure out a way to wage war on our dandelions (by the way, did you know that "dandelion" means "lion's tongue"?) which are taking over our yard. Last year myself and Hollie, my sister, spent days digging up all of the dandelions. This is because our household is organic--no chemicals please.
But, our neighbors to the south have a blantant disregard for lawn and house care. And all of their dandelions blew onto our yard. Nice.
So, we have been researching organic dandelion control. Apparently there are some chemicals on the market that will stunt the dandelions, especially as they are just emerging in the spring. They are made out of natural oils and corn juices and stuff. Pretty cool. I think I will have to invest in such products when we come home from vacation b/c our neighbor to the north, Jim, will probably hate us if we don't do something about it.
Jim is definately a Lawn Man. He cares about his lawn.
Also, through a series of events, the City has agreed to plant one of their left-over Honey Locust trees in our front yard to replace the poor tree that perished when my dear husband was moving into the house. I am very happy about it--and happy about not having to spend money on a tree. And even happier that the city is going to take out the old stump AND plant the new tree for us.
Back home to Mott again this weekend with the dogs. They are going to stay with the parents while we are gone and run around on the farm like the maniacs that they are. This means another 10 hours of driving this weekend. And, I don't really have any reasonable projects at the moment, so I will probably end up reading The Complete Works of Walter Trobisch that I've had out of my pastor's library for about 10 years. More like 3, but still, that's totally rude of me.
I received the materials I ordered as possibilities for our philosophy/religion discussion group this summer, and I am really impressed with them. I can't wait to show everyone else and get some direction with where to go with the group.
Last night was our last night at the couple's bible study. Due to extenuating circumstances, we won't be able to attend anymore, at least for awhile. This group has been really good for us in the first 3 years of our marriage, and I will miss it. But I was also telling Billy that there comes point when you have to stop learning and discussing about some of these things and just start putting those things into practice. And I am sure the next few months are sure to test us as we go through even more transitions in our lives.
But until then, I am just focusing on vacation, vacation, vacation. Maui, maui, maui...

10 May 2006

School's out for summer--School's out FOREVER!!!

Hello. Today is my husband's final and last day of college. I am so proud of him, and I am very relieved that it is over. I think he learned a lot and really developed a passion for his field. And now we will have more money. I can't even imagine what two incomes will be like again. I am actually astounded with the way that God provided for us to make it through the past two years both financially and relationally. In two years of driving, Billy never one time had car problems.
So, today opens a new chapter in our lives. The chapter of Both of Us are Employed Now. And the chapter of Now we have to pay off our ass-load of Debt. And the chapter of Now I get to Decide what to do the the Rest of my Life.
I am very thankful for his school, his company, and the amazing provision that God has given us up until this point. He is faithful. Lest we never forget it, no matter what we are going through. Suffering produces perserverence and character. It builds us, and it builds our relationship with God.
Vacation preparations continue. Last night we went to Target (and I returned today) to get swimsuits, water shoes, shorts, capris, and other acoutrements for the vacation.
Most women hate swimsuit shopping. I thought I did as well. I have now decided that I actually hate pants shopping more than swimsuit shopping. My pants are always a million sizes bigger than I'd want them to be, and they never fit. With swimsuits, you don't have to worry about squeezing anything around your hips or thighs. And if The Girls look good, I feel generally pretty well about the world. And last night I think I found the best swimsuit of all time ever for my body. And then this morning, I found two more.
Yes, I plan on spending a lot of time on the beach--lay off. You only go to Hawaii once [maybe].
And maybe yoga is actually really paying off, despite what the scale says. Damn scale. I can see muscles in my back I didn't know i had.
Last night Dana and I excurged to Sheyenne Gardens to look at perennials and to buy tomato plants. We accomplished both of these things despite the rain and the mucky conditions, but I hope to return at some point to walk around and actually enjoy myself without wading through mud in dress shoes.
I swear if it rains one more day...
Vacation celibacy--The Member strikes again.
We were doing very well on vacation celibacy. That is, we were doing well, until the Husband i.e. the Member, decided to be grumpy about it. I went through all the same rationalization as before as well as the explaining and then the cross-examination "Are you SURE you want to ruin the vacation celibacy????" But, wine was being had at the time, and, well, it is just a long time to wait. After 10 minutes of back-and-forth conversation, the Member frantically grabs the closest Bible around our house and starts ranting and shuffling the pages and shaking the book at me:
There is nowhere in the book that there are rules that we have to have vacation celibacy, the Member Says.
It's not a rule, it's a guideline.
Nowhere, nowhere, nowhere......it doesn't say it anywhere [frantic shuffling, fast breathing, red faced]
I really can't support my position at this point because The Member is right, though he does drastically lack a sense of adventure about things.
The other night I did succeed at one thing--I got the entire garden planted (sans tomatoes, peppers, leaks, peas), transplanted all the plants I got at home last weekend (they look fantastic), and even moved some other plants around. The garden and flower beds are actually starting to fill out and look like something after three years of work. And my dear husband also succeeded at digging out the path, lining it, edging it, and completely preparing it for receiving rocks. Soon the path will be done, and one more thing will be crossed off of the home improvement list. I also bought some shade plants to help fill in around the path. Me thinks it will look fantastic when completed.
We celebrated this victory against the weeds and the rain by lazing in our hammock and letting the glorious smell of the apple and crab apple blossoms in the yard waft over us. Sigh...I love spring.
Spring brings other things. Like pregnancies [not mine]. We have two friends--two couple friends of ours--that we just found out are expecting. Well, one of them I sort of unofficially knew about for awhile [due to my amazing psychic abilities enhanced by the consumption of sushi at lunch one day] and one of them we sort of accidentally found out about when the drunk brother spilled the beans to us.
Can you say awkward? Trying to pretend that you didn't just hear someone's brother tease her about being prego?
Good gravy.

09 May 2006

Dog tired [from running around on the farm]

Yes, that is Molly sleeping ON TOP of Priscilla.

08 May 2006

Everyone [at work] annoys me

I like using brackets. I don't think we use brackets enough.
Anyway, it is one of those days where I feel like screaming at everyone "Do it your own damn self!" For crying out loud, it astonishes me how helpless some people are. Also, I don't like being nagged. And people are nagging me. As if I am not responsible enough to take care of my own tasks [I am, by the way].
Also, Guy Who Greets Everyone by Saying their Name has taken to using a French pronounciation for our receptionist's name. I feel sorry for her. The first few times it was amusing. Now it is just disgusting. It almost makes me not like French [fat chance of that].
Office stuff.....ugh! I hope the day comes someday [in my dreams] when the only office stuff I will have to deal with will by my own.
It was a whirlwind weekend back home to Mott again. We had a surprise 50th birthday party for my MOL [which I can now write about]. So, she was actually surprised, but it was very challenging to keep the surprise in a small town filled with people who are incapable of keeping surprises. Billy and I ended up basically just hiding out on the farm all weekend until the party. But the weather was to-die-for gorgeous. We took a five-mile hike with the herd of dogs on Saturday morning. I did yoga. We lay in the hammock. We ate (too much). We read. We looked at catalogs. We agonized over the party preparations.
Saturday night was the party. It was at one of the most depressing places in the world, but it is a place that everyone likes to hang out at anyway. I don't really understand it. But, we had a good time, the food was good [my SIL did a great job planning and making everything]. The theme of the party was Hawaii 5-0 [get it--5-0???] My parents came. They made sure that Billy and I were properly decked out in Hawaiian attire. And I think they really enjoyed it because it gave them an excuse to talk to anyone and everyone about Hawaii. My parents love Hawaii. If anything is sure--that is sure. Which is great. It is just better than liking Nascar.
Sunday we went to church. This is always an exhausting experience being torn between lots of simultaneous small-talkish sorts of conversations and trying to keep everyone happy (especially Mona).
You guys: my grandma has a wedding planner. She is 74. And she has a wedding planner. And for some reason, she is taking the wedding planner very, very literally. Like, if she is not getting something done in time according to this ridiculous little wedding bible, she is freaking out, "The wedding planner says you're supposed to have the dress five months before at least--I am running out of time."
Dudes--it is May 8th. The wedding is September 30th. I think she has plenty of time, don't you????
She wanted to know if I had the baskets of goodies made up for her attendants yet.
Are you kidding?!!!
She wanted to know if we had all of the wedding music ready.
Sigh....I did make some headway with this. I will be suffering through this with my friend/former piano teacher, Margaret. Margaret is a saint. She is almost always calm, and she always has good ideas. But sometimes when you talk to her, it is difficult to ascertain whether she is actually listening to you or just talking to herself. At any rate, she had some great ideas for the music, and I no longer feel like I am alone in this. And I think it will be fun to play with her again.
We took our pastor out for lunch (well, actually my dad did), and this is how it was. Taking the pastor out to lunch was my idea. Because? The pastor is getting his doctorate right now and has lots of interesting theological discussion topics I would love to ruminate on. Except that at lunch, Mona wanted to sit next to me to discuss wedding.
So, here I was, having the most indepth discussion of my life (at least in a while), simultaneously interspersed with question from Mona about the wedding.
Pastor: "So, this guy [he brought two books by the way that total probably weighed five pounds] is saying that the scriptures should be interpretted by the culture in a dramatical way. Meanwhile this guy over here is saying that culture should interpret the Bible."
Me: [eating grilled cheese and fries] chewing....thinking...."Well, I usually shy away from anyone who takes any kind of experiential approach, but at least what the first guy is saying is that the scriptures are the source of the interpretation."
Mona: "So, have you started on the gift baskets yet?"
Me: What is today's date.....May 7th? 6th? The wedding isn't until September. I am currently just trying to survive my life. I have no money to buy materials, and if I make things now, they will not be good anymore for the wedding, but I don't want to go into all of this with her because it will just lead to more interrogation, so, "No."
Brian: "So, I was really surprised by some of the discussion in the class, and it didn't help that most of the people there were marriage and family types and not many theologian types because the discussion was very much all about how are feelings are involved and almost the catalyst for understanding these things."
Me: "Yeah, that's frustrating. If the emotions aren't rooted in truth, they mean nothing. But most people nowadays think that their emotions are what either confirm or deny the truth of scripture, and I think this is ridiculous."
Brian" Me, too."
Nathan: "Get Grandma."
Me: "Grandma, Nathan.
Mona: "What do you need?"
Nathan: " salt & pepper"
Mona: "I think that can be arranged."
Brian: theology, theology, theology, interesting, stimulating discussion
Everything else: distracting, distracting distracting
Needless to say, the conversation was not what I was hoping for, but it was interesting none the less, and I felt after the meal like I had had an aerobic workout just from trying to keep up with all of the conversations I was in.
Not that I don't like my grandma. I don't mean to give that impression. But she is extremely demanding, and not always very understanding of a person having other priorities besides what she thinks you should be prioritizing.
Husband and I got to hang out at my brother's house (he was baching it this weekend) partly on gargantuan deck, and partly inside. He was stung by a wasp, we drank wine, and we watched a really cool show about king crab fishing called, The Deadliest Catch.
And also, we started planning our next vacation.
Because I have a weakness for travel. And I am very guilty of starting to plan the next trip before I even leave for the current one.
So, we think next summer we will fly into Vegas, rent a car, and then drive up through the Grand Canyon area and then into Utah to Moab and Zion and all kinds of cool places.
That afternoon I got the opportunity to take portions of all of mom's and grandma's perennials, and then Billy had to figure out how to get them into our car (which he did, thank you Cavalier). So, my week is going to be filled with trying to get these plants in the ground, planting the garden, hauling rocks and making a path, and doing laundry to pack for the trip BECAUSE we are headed back to Mott next weekend (unexpectedly and on short notice) to drop the dogs off at grandma and grandpa's house to be cared for at least a half a month or so (their idea, not mine).
And the weather outside is perfect for planting. Meanwhile I sit at this desk doing annoying stuff and watching the sunlight pass through the window. I hope by tonight it is not raining.

04 May 2006

You better watch out for that hang nail...

Here's something annoying about being premenopausal, married, and young. Everything that ever happens to you physically EVER is immediately misconstrued as a pregnancy by everyone around you.
For instance, since Tuesday yoga class, I have been feeling weird. IN fact, where normally I fly through yoga and am wanting more, I could barely, barely make it through because I was weak and shaking. Since then, I haven't been able to shake the weak shakies. And I feel swirly and lightheaded. And also, my eyebrows are sweating. I feel like I have a fever.
In short, I feel weird.
It is probably because I haven't eaten any vegetables this week due to lack of groceries. Or the fact that I have been working out a lot. Or the fact that I am exhausted from everything we've had going on. Or the fact that work has been very stressful this week.
But, the second I tell anyone that I feel weird, I am automatically pregnant.
Which, given the vacation celibacy was "go" until last Friday, is physically impossible. And there are other factors of impossibility which I will not go into. But, it is impossible. Not just improbable. Impossible.
But, to try to explain this to someone who already thinks you are prego is like talking to the wall. They just continue to look at you with a smirk and like you are an idiot. Or they start to talk about parenting.
Gag me.
Sara was saying that it can even get so bad that everything you have going on is a sign of pregnancy. Hang nail--you're pregnant. Shingles--you're pregnant. Nearsightedness--you're pregnant.
I am just trying to say I feel really weird. I think it is important to do this so that if I pass out or drop dead that someone can look back on this and know that I was trying to say something and the only thing anyone would say in return is that I obviously have "Zygote Oberlander" growing in my uterus.
In the words of my mother-in-law: Whatever.
I was successful in achieving one of my goals this morning. Dana has been wanting a chair from clean-up week to knit a cushion situation to put on her front porch. We searched everywhere. No chairs. No acceptable chairs, anyway. Well, this morning, I was feeling weird, and I thought "Bab's coffee will make me feel better." So, I ended up taking a different route to work, and what do you think I found? A chair for Dana. Which I promptly deposited onto her front porch.
Another goal was breached this morning. I weighed in and it wasn't horrifying. At least, I am back to where I was before the last two weeks of emotional cellulite that I have been experiencing since the Day of the Bad Weigh-in. And this after a week of not caring at all--being fatalistic. Conclusion? Maybe I should be a fatalist. Maybe then I will lose weight. Or, maybe I wasn't eating enough calories, given my extreme need for movement and exercise. I don't know. But what I will say is this: after trying for 3 years, I can now do a Boy Pushup. Which makes me GI Jane, obviously. Now I have to work on my pull ups.
The sad thing about the weigh-in is that I am still technically where I was on March 30th. So, this is a whole month and a half of weight and emotional rollercoasterness. It is enough to make me crazy. So, the month and a half where I was being "good" got me nothing. What can anyone make of this? Mathematically speaking, I should have lost about 10 pounds. In reality, I gained five and lost five all over again. ?????
So, a good friend of mine has two cysts in her tah-tahs. This is wildly upsetting because 1) she is a good friend of mine and b) because her stupid-ass doctor told her that they would just "wait six months and see what happens." He didn't even offer to do a biopsy to determine if the cysts were cancerous. Instead, he thought the better option would be to allow whatever it is to metastasize into her body so that she could have no hope of dealing with it.
This is bullshit. This is exactly why I hate "modern medicine." Where is the sense in this thought? One biopsy and you know what you're dealing with. It's very simple.
Don't tell me that there is no doctor-insurance agency-drug company conspiracy. Don't tell me that!
So, everyone pray and think good thoughts for this friend of mine. She is obviously going to be getting second opinion.
It is also the kind of day where I am fantasizing a lot about chocolate and chocolate in items such as a huge bowl of chocolate mousse, chocolate salad that they used to make at the Holiday House Inn, hot fudge sundaes from DQ, etc, etc.
I'd like to give a shout out to my pal, Becky, whose birthday was yesterday, and because I am an idiot, I forgot it. In future, I will try to remember that Becky shares a birthday with my mother-in-law. Maybe someday I will be better at birthdays.
Another friend of mine, Sar-Sar, is deciding what to do with her life for the next few years. She is either going to teach school in Guadalajara, Mexico or in Vienna, Austria (both glorious options, in my opinion). She is going through the whole "I can't tell what God is telling me about this decision" thing. I have been there. My conclusion: God isn't telling you anything except to obey is word and do your best to make wise decisions. I don't think he usually gives us "signs" or whatever to tell us what to do. And often, he gives us several good options to chose from. So, I say: Go--God will go with you. And either way, it will be an amazing experience. And, of course, I will come visit you (Vienna, Vienna, Vienna, Vienna--my passport is good until 2010!!)

03 May 2006

Realization Moment:

Turbulence is like the flatulence of the sky. And hardly anyone has ever died of farts.

Wine & Words

So, Dana and I have decided to do something intellectual and enriching. We are starting a philosophy/religion discussion forum for women for the summer to be held at my place and including wine and chocolate. I am really excited about this. We will start out with some materials on basic thinking, i.e., how to think well, how to reason well. We'll also probably go through some basic information on how to argue clearly and also about worldviews. After that, it is up to the group what we discuss. The possibilities are endless--philosophy, religion, various aspects of these things, current events, politics, the meaning of life. I think it will be really cool, and the women that are deciding to join us in this project are all wonderful thinkers that I think will bring a lot to the group. So, today I ordered a bunch of possible materials from a place that teaches Christians, specifically, to think well, called Stand to Reason Ministries.
So much for purging books. I just added about 10 more to my list.
Today is my mother-in-laws birthday. Husband had the idea to send her flowers, which I think is great. So, I called the hometown flower shop this morning and had Maggie, the woman who owns it (who is also the mom of one of my former classmates), throw together a bouquet to be brought to mother-in-law's workplace (which, indicentally, is exactly a block away from the flower shop in main street). Maggie also does a thing where she dresses up in a clown suit and makeup and brings the bouquet to the person and sings happy birthday really annoyingly and loud and embarrasses them.
So, last night after husband had been sleeping a good half hour and my mind was still turning, I had the idea that we should send Maggie the Clown along with the bouquet. So, I woke Husband up (Husband is used to me waking him up to ask him things like this, poor husband) to pitch the idea.
The idea was immediately shot down.
So, just the bouquet is going. But at least I have hope that we are getting better at participating in family birthdays.
The guy that I work with took his family on vacation to Disney Land for this week. This means I am being two people at work, and one of the people's jobs I don't understand very well. And, of course, this is the week that all of the rich people with expensive house ideas want to make their house dreams come true. Result: I look like and idiot trying to figure out what to do.
I can't wait for Dan to get back from vacation.
It has been raining for almost a week now. I bought the Husband a huge hammock and stand for his graduation from college. We still had not been able to put it up. Last night the rain let up for awhile, so we decided to put out the hammock for the first time. We'd be laying in the hammock no more than 30 seconds when it started to pour again.
15 days until Maui. I have had the mandatory pre-flight pep talk from friend, Jodi (another seasoned traveler) who knows that I am terrified of turbulence. She has to send me all kinds of links with safety information including diagrams and explanations of turbulence. At first this information terrifies me. But then the excitement of the trip outweighs any fears I have. And then I feel fine. Thanks, Jodi! So, now we are on to the phase of the trip planning where I keep having dreams that I forget our tickets in Fargo and do not realize it until we reach the Minneapolis airport.
This is kind of like the dream that i had leading up to my wedding that I either forgot to go to the wedding or forgot to wear clothes to the wedding or wore something hideous instead of my glorious dress.
So, anyway, the trip planning continues. Current items on the trip to-do list include: 1) sister-in-law's wedding on the beach, 2) two different luaus, 3) a day at the spa with a couple's massage, couple's facial, and couple's pedicure, 4) hiking into a volcano crater, 5) snorkeling, 6) eating sushi for every meal, 7) spending some time with family, 8) not spending too much time with family, 9) day trip to Oahu to see Pearl Harbor and the Polynesian Cultural center, 10) visiting some botanical gardens and a few vineyards.
By the way, I am a total idiot about Hawaii, and I probably shouldn't even be going on this trip with as ignorant as I am, but my brother was kind enough to point out that if I planned on seeing Pearl Harbor and the cultural center on the Big Island, as I thought, that I would be disappointed when arrived b/c the only thing on the Big Island is volcanos, and the other stuff is actually on Oahu. Idiot, me.
Speaking of my brother, he was nice enough to send me, via email to my work address, some lovely photographs that he had recently taken. I was excited when I saw the email b/c my brother has actually become quite an accomplished photographer recently, and I thought the picture was going to be something glorious.
Instead, the pictures were two giant close-ups of piles of dog terds in his yard.
Last night I made some progress in the business planning. More on that down the road. Suffice it to say that I am in the research and development phase of making recipes for cosmetics and body products. Last night I successfully made an apricot kernel body polish and a rhassoul clay mask. They were scented with various things including but not limited to peru balsam, lavendar, ylang-ylang (my current favorite), eucalyptus, and bay laurel. I got all this stuff from mountainroseherbs.com
Everyone should get their herbal products and some teas from this place. They are outstanding and their philosophy is so inspiring to me I feel like I could burst just reading their homepage.
And inspiration is something I need.

01 May 2006

Scavenging and Celibacy

So, this week is the wonderful clean-up week in my great city. Which means there are a lot of people out scavenging.
Last year my husband and I got a claw-foot tub on clean up week. Our friends, Matt and Dana, got a beautiful, upright, carved piano.
This year has not been all that fruitful. It is the year of the broken appliances and old toilets. I am not looking for either of these things.
Nonetheless, I did have three great finds.
1) a vintage mirror (circa WWII era) to hang in the bedroom,
2) a really awesome hand-made wood chair to put on the front porch which I can now sit out on because,
3) a cabinet to put the catbox in to cut down on smell and litter scattered EVERYWHERE on the porch.
I love clean-up week. It seems to bring out an interesting aspect of people. Both generosity and greed at the same time. And the packrats are out in hordes. I only allowed myself to pick up things I actually, truly needed this year. Because of the purging, of course.
As for purging, my weight purging has not been going well, thusly, I have not written since my last entry. A few days ago I weighed in, and basically, I may as well never have started the diet. that's how bad it was. And why? I don't know, because I honestly wasn't cheating at all.
So, this weekend was spent feeling sorry for myself. And drinking wine. Which is, yes, cheating, i realize. But sometimes it is just hard to care.
I am hoping it is the Ovulation (i.e. weight retention) because if it is not, I don't know what I will do. I have worked so hard for nothing. My body hates me. But I will not give up.
At least I feel differently. At least I feel like I look differently. Even if there isn't other cop-outs.
By the way--why do they call it a cop-out? What does that mean??!!
On the topic of other things I did this weekend...{Mom and Dad, you might want to stop reading now.}
A few weeks ago, friends Sara and Carrie suggested that Husband and I try celibacy until arriving on vacation.
I think, sure, no sweat. That would be fun. Delayed gratification and tension and all of that.
Well, I am beginning to remember what it felt like to be dating and trying to be "good."
Husband did not really understand the purpose of said delayed gratification. He could not see how waiting would make it more fun in the long run. He didn't really "get it."
Thus, I found myself in an irrational conversation with someone who looked like my husband on Friday night, but I know it wasn't my husband. It was......well,......I think I was having a conversation with, let's just call it The Member.
The Member did not understand the concept of vacation celibacy at all.
How could delayed gratification make Hawaii better?
No, Member, it is that waiting will make the results of waiting better, and we will just get to enjoy it in Hawaii. It gives us something to look forward to.
Member: But I don't understand how that will make Hawaii better. We already have Hawaii to look forward to.
Member (new tactic): Well, what if we just start on an even numbered day? That way we can start next week, after the weekend.
Me (the rational one): Monday is an odd-numbered day.
Member: Oh......
Me (the rational one): See, IT will make Hawaii better. Hawaii will not make IT better.
Member: I just don't see how that is going to make anything any better. It will be just as good now as then.
Me (the rational one): No, you don't get it. Waiting makes it more fun.....
Member: Want some wine?

An hour later......I am feeling like I just ruined Christmas. I lack such self-control to maintain prolonged vacation celibacy. Especially when dealing with complete irrationality coupled with Friday night exhaustion and the lack of ability to reason something through with a possessed individual. And husband is now saying to me that we can just "start over" until the vacation.

Yeah, right. And how many times are we going to "start over"??!!!

So, vacation plans, weight loss and other things included, are not going according to plan.

Other than dealing with irrationality all weekend, Husband and I did actually get something tangible accomplished. We finally bought tile for the floor and walls for our bathroom reno. I am excited about it. It was pretty reasonable slate tiles for the floor and hexagonal cream tiles for the walls which we will then accent with bronze accent tiles to match the colors in the amazing sink we bought. So, now we just have to decide when we are going to feel like being without a bathroom. For some reason we just aren't starting this project...maybe waking up in the middle of the night in the middle of the winter to drive a mile to go pee (when we were redoing the sewer line) has scarred me seriously. Or maybe the idea of actually doing this projects is just too intimidating and overwhelming. The Veterans of Home improvement (Matt and Dana) keep assuring us that everything will be fine, that we won't ruin everything, and that gravity won't break. But I wonder....